Anyone But England

NI didn’t win again. NI didn’t score again.

That wee fucker Gorman looks half decent mind and had two pretty good chances to set up a memorable first two caps. First of many I hope, I like him a lot. Bustling worker, skilful ball handling.

I was fortunate enough to be back in God’s Own over the bank holiday weekend and so was interested in what the regional Sun “Ulster’s No1 Newspaper” made of the game. Not very much as it turns out, for despite an apparently honourable showing against ‘World Cup Qualifying’ Chile, we got a single 1 inch column squeezed down the side of one of 5 pages devoted to Mothership Englund. Pffft. (more…)

Ok so I’ve emerged from my post-Turkish defeat depression just in time for the Chilean bloodbath tonight. A quick recap of the past few days in world football:

Norn Iron wilt in the Hartford heat and concede two 2nd half goals to a strong Turkish side. NI’s weakened side was apparently due to the short notice at which the decision to play in the Americas was taken. Is 4 weeks really short notice? No such excuses from Turkey who included a player fresh from a Champions League final appearance 4 days before. (more…)

Adding to the list of things that England should ‘do it for’, it’s been revealed Beckham gave an ‘inspiring’ dressing room speech to do it for our boys in Ghanners prior to Monday night’s friendly. (more…)

Had a further read through the shit storm kicked up by the Mail’s creation of a national scapegoat even before there was any hint of failure. It’s difficult not to feel sorry for the English campaign over the head of this, god knows if the Belfast Telegraph had done something like this – and it’s not unlikely – personally I’d be advocating razing their premises to the ground.

Then again it does strike a blow against one less potential outpouring of the arty expense associated with sporting bids in this country. Sport is culture but culture does not equal sport. Unfortunately the confusion means we end up with an embarrassing array of marketing speak masquerading as an artform that sport never wanted anyway. (more…)

The Mediterranean can be blamed not just for chronic inability to pay their way but for a horrendously debilitating heat that seems to make a pilgrimage to London each Summer season.

As such I was hiding in the darkest dampest corner of my flat last night so escaping to a pub to watch the friendly wasn’t on the radar. In true boho Shoreditch style there’s no TV in my place so I made do with fleeting references to the action on the interweb.

The general consensus is that England were lucky.

We are however reminded from the perpetually informative BBC live text feed that England are undefeated in 7 pre-World Cup finals matches now. Obviously this doesn’t bode well for success in South Africa. (more…)

Capello should name the 7 drop outs now before anymore journalists publish their list of ‘must haves’.

Fresh from their complete balls-up of predicting who would make the actual final 30 scribes (scrotes) are now busy telling the England coach what players cannot under any circumstances be dropped before heading off.

Well they’ve only got 30 to choose from this time so they might have half a chance
(more…)

Jose Mourinho is probably the only human on the planet capable of eclipsing Engurlund in the World Cup mode press post-Beckham.

Still as the team he happened to guide mercurially to Champions League glory this season weren’t English the jingoistic jibes set in:

“This is not an Italian team, it’s a Mourinho team.”

Other anonymous scribes could be more circumspect however. Perhaps it’s an ego thing?

There’s an interesting feature on which foreigners England could do with who are eligible thanks to the fact they’ve never been capped for their ‘home’ country and have spent at least 5 years in England. They may well have missed a very special talent who has been snatched from under their own noses. Ollie Norwood of Man Utd has been causing a stir amongst Norn Iron fans due to his phenomenal free kick skills for our junior teams. After having played for England schools he made the switch to come under highly-rated U-21 coach Steve Beaglehole’s direction thanks to a Northern Irish grandda. On Friday night he inspired a fighting comeback in the Euro Champ qualifiers against Russia, scoring both NI goals in the last 7 minutes of the game to rescue a point. One of which being from his trademark setpiece. And today he put another 1 away in a 3-2 defeat at the hands of Italy.

One thing that puzzles me over the Lord Treason sensationalised mudslinging the English press engaged in; never once did they stop to think that the gist of Triesman’s private loose talk – corruption at the highest levels – is essentially completely true and also completely unreported in mainstream media. As can be seen from the over the top reaction to Capello’s commercial venture, there appears to be a don’t-upset-the-applecart theme that intertwines both football’s governing bodies and their cheerleaders in the press. 2nd opinions can now be seen floating about.

In amongst all the one-eyed bullshit crap plastered over the media during the build up there are no doubt many geniunely impressive tails of innovative devotion from supporters. ABE has no issue with these guys and looking over the sundays one such story stands out – Two guys heading south …by hitchhiking.

Builder Andrew Grady & camerman Simon Wilson set off for France on April 28th and are currently in Morocco with the aim of making the 2nd England group game in Cape Town on June 18th. On a route that seems sure to present a plethora of problems (a good proportion likely to emanate from ‘authorities’ it has to be said), they may well have the odds stacked against them. I hope they have the opportunity to enjoy the ride though, and having done a smaller scale version of it (well, as far as Mauritania anyway, and in a slightly more glamourous 1984 LHD Mercedes) I can imagine it will be a hugely worthwhile experience.

“The only time Mourinho walked backwards was when Inter scored”

First class insight into the movement of Mourinho from ITV’s Andy Townsend at half time in the Champs League final. A taste of the inane rubbish yet to come.

Overall thought the football was excellent last night. Was fully expecting an Inter 11 man defence job after the 1st goal but quite surprised with their tempo. Miss Football Italia RIP. Had to laugh at the sight of the Inter manager poking at Gomez while he waited beside the 4 official to come on as a sub but genuinely emotional scenes at the final whistle. Special One TV bring it on!

In an incident reminiscent of the skirtwearers infamous small-mindedness, I see a local M&S unit has been slated by no less than the chairman of the Football Supporters Federation for selling French beer in their England World Cup promo fridges. I should point out that the FSF is allegedly part of a wider international network in Europe. Obviously they pack their John Smiths away in their suitcases when attending meetings on the continent, lest they inadvertently run into some of that nasty foreign stuff.

Also goes without saying the Carlsberg TV ads contain enough wanton Englo-porn for the FSF not to point out their country of origin.

Back page of the Sun features Venables the crooner in what I hope is a deeply ironic white suit, black shirt & goatee combo. His fall from grace has been nothing short of calamitious. From the only Englishman that could manage England to a washed up karaoke punter. The Sun almost got their description right of their advert that feature this car crash, “iconic” being only one letter out. (more…)

The Sun has a two page spread describing how Wayne Jesus Chris Rooney (the big wonder boy) likes to listen to the sound of the jet engine when trying to sleep on long haul flights. And we career from one bombshell to another as Carragher declares himself out of the Englund running once they lose on penalties. In the Quarter finals.

And besides he says nonchantly “I’ve my testimonial to organise during the opening Euro qualifiers”.

Well, if there’s one thing bigger than your country Carragher, it’s your pension fund. (more…)